Just BREATHE IN

Write away the tears. Life is heavy for you. Waking up in the morning means there are obligations to be done. Being an adult. Living in an adult world while you are still mimicking the actions of a child.  You are exhausted from trying to keep your life together. All the adult things with childhood motivation are your goals. You are the one that’s lacking. You did something wrong to deserve this. Life changes once a traumatic brain injury occurs. You question the reason it happened to you. Really, what did you do? Why are you watching your friends go on in life? Why can’t you? Being a TBI survivor is shameful for you. I mean, you deserve this, right? You must keep on a content face. Losers are supposed to congratulate winners. Don’t be so dramatic. Accept it, girl. Act like this is just another teaching moment in your life. Suck it up buttercup. Yes, you have pain but hell, so do I. Life is tough for everyone. We all have problems. You act like your problems are so much more difficult for you to do in life. You must be faking it. You must be lazy. A no-good excuse for a person. You are an example of who my mom reminds me not to be. Don’t you know that is your life purpose? Oh, and let’s repeat this conversation tomorrow. I want you to remember all of this we talked about. You just need to eat something. Drown your sorrowful self in food. Tomorrow is the day we go through this again. No worries. You must keep on thinking you are the reason your life is like this I must keep reminding you.

But maybe the Lord is protecting you. Maybe you should have a different perspective about your sick brain. Maybe, oh just stop it! You will die with being a TBI survivor, but you will overcome this. I just know it.

“Okay! That’s enough”. I say to my inner self-destructing voice, “I hear you.” But I promised myself that I would be deaf to you.” At least only let you rule over me once a day. That’s it.

Until Next Time,

Heidi💜