Under Water,

Am I alive?

is there hope?

Routines replace dreams,that

make life work.

We all have something,

a flaw,

some sort of bad experience,

I search to relive myself.

I can’t relief.

The direction to turn is not clear,

So I pivot.

I stay in motion.

My prayer needs,

the ones for others, are a forethought,

yet when I pray for myself, my words seem inconceivable;

at least for this world.

Why bother to pray for myself if prayers are uncertain?

I want to sleep instead,

to cope,

to refresh for my daily  routines.

I ask,

is this real,

or is this a motion?

Is this acceptance of reality,

or is this just unselfish and aware.

I  will keep my dreams silent.

They will be protected.

I will be like a cat,

a scared cat,

unsure.

I will hide them, my dreams, and run away from their embrace.

Yet, I want to hope in this place that I find myself.

Just maybe I can let go of fear and achieve them.

My dreams may come true.

Until then,

I will keep pivoting.

One day, I may

find myself,

in the right direction.

*These are thoughts that I made into sentenses. I wrote them down to make them real.